HoboBaby

• That I don’t have the patience I *should* have with my child.
• DNA.
• Men who have to be asked to help around the house.  To clean up the kitchen, or pick up the toys, or rinse out their own dirty dishes and put them in the dishwasher.  Isn’t it OUR house?  As in we both live here, equally?  That really grinds my gears.  The asking.  Because you must know by now that by the time I am begging ASKING you to HELP me I am really peeved, and I am asking because surprise! I do not want to do it all.  And the fact that I CAN do it all, I just don’t WANT to, or need do, or deserve to should scare the hell out of you.
• When women act like it’s some huge deal when their husbands help out.  Like they deserve accolades and praise because they came home and helped take care of the kids, or let you take a shower.  “So-and-So is the greatest husband EVER!”  Good job, So-and-So.  Way to go being an adult and taking care of what should be everyday responsibilities that you just do because that’s part of your life.
• People who hurt little kids.  Little kids are incredibly resilient, and will sit there in front of you with a swollen black eye, patches of hair missing, an arm broken in two places and still not tell you who did it because they love them, and all they want to do is get on with their life and play.  I want to kill child abusers in the most inhumane ways possible.
• ANY sports commentary.  I can’t imagine any torture worse than listening to sports commentators for more than 5 seconds.  It actually makes my face red and my blood boil.
• People thinking that just because I’m a nurse means I’m okay with hearing about your ailments and giving out advice.  Most of the time I don’t mind but a) I don’t know everything and b) Sometimes I just want to say “I DON’T GIVE A SH*T.  STOP COMING TO ME.”
• People who talk over other people, don’t pay attention or interrupt when you are talking.  I’m sorry that you have a sad little need to be heard, to be right, to be loudest all of the time but I DON’T.  And it takes a lot for me to get my thoughts out so shut up and listen.
• People who absolutely believe they know what they are talking about – and usually don’t.
• Ultra-conservatives.  Just kidding… sort of.
• My child fighting going to sleep, at night or at naptime. Drives me UP. THE. FRICKIN. WALL.
• People who say stupid things about modern medicine.  I’m not sorry when I say I think you sound like an ignorant fool.  There are side effects TO EVERYTHING WE PUT IN OUR BODIES but as far as I’m concerned I’ll err on the side of decades of health improvement after antibiotics, vaccinations and little medicines like chemotherapy were invented.  Yeah, they might not be perfect, and I’ll be the first to hold off on giving my kid any medication unless she absolutely needs it but, honey? Medicines are good.  Science is good.  I hope you and your families never come down with any serious illness that requires a life saving treatment because I’ll have a hard time not telling you to eat your words.
• Non-yielders.
• People who stop at yield signs.
• People who put their animals on the same level as other people’s children.
• MY KID WHO WILL NOT STAY DOWN FOR HER NAP.

This started as a post but felt so cathartic I’m making it a page and will add to it at my discretion.