J: What is something Mommy always says to you?
A: I wuv you!

J: What makes me happy?
A: That I hug you and hold your hand.

J: What makes me sad?
A: When I hurt my knee, but we go home and you put new band aids on and then I come hug my Mommy and that makes me feel better.

J: How does Mommy make you laugh?
A: Um by doing funny things like juggle! juggle! juggle! juggle! with your foot!  (For the record, I cannot juggle)

J: What was Mommy like as a child?
A: Well you put child stuff on.

J: How old am I?
A: Uh (holds up four fingers).
J: No you’re going to be four.  How old is Mommy?
A: Uh… tall.

J: How tall am I?
A: Oh, really tall!  (Holds hands way above head)

J: What is my favorite thing to do?
A: Play at the park with me!

J: What does Mom do when you’re not around?
A: Go find me.

J: If I become famous, what will it be for?
A: Me and my dad and Noah.
J: Why will I be famous for you guys?
A: ‘Cause we like you!

J: What am I really good at?
A: Saying “hewwo! hewwo!” in Spanish.
J: How do you say hello in Spanish?
A: Just like “hewwo”.
J: Oh, right.

J: What am I not very good at?
A: Not jugg-a-wing (juggling)

J: What does Mommy do for my job?
A: Um, you go to work
J: What does Mommy do at work?
A: Well you help people that got hurt.

J: What is my favorite food?
A: Macaroni and Cheese-y.
J: No it’s not!
A: Yes!! Only Macaroni and cheese for you!

J: What makes you proud of me?
A: Um that you juggle, juggle and go to the park with me! I always say you juggle.
J: Yeah I’ve noticed, but I don’t juggle so why are you saying that?
A: You don’t juggle???  Well, ’cause you always juggle.  I’ll teach you one day.  (Balls. Drop. Everywhere. Loudly.)
J: Okay, no more juggling.  STOP.

J: If I were a cartoon character, who would I be?
A: Uh, Oscar.
J: Oscar the Grouch?  Why?
A: Cause I wuv you Oscar the Grouchy.  I really like Oscar Grouch.

J: What do you and I do together?
A: Uh, nuffin.
J: Nothing? We don’t do anything together?
A: Well we do sometimes. We jump, hop, play togedder.

J: How are you and I the same?
A: Our hair! Our hair make us the same.
J: Aything else?
A: Wuv. (be still my heart)

J: How are you and I different?
A: Well, our shirts don’t match

J: How do you know I love you?
A: Well, I just know that you wuv me.  You silly!

J: Where is my favorite place to go?
A: Ice skate!

J: Well thanks for letting me interview you.
A: Thank you.  I wuv you hop sack.  (I turn around and she’s hopping around the living room in a reusable grocery bag.  At least someone around here remembers to use it for something.)

So… my baby will be one year old in 31 days.  How the heck did that happen?

Anyway, for those who have stuck it out (only nineteen or twenty posts this whole YEAR?? Yikes) I want to tell you thanks for checking in. Can you believe when Noah was born almost nine months ago he looked like this:

And now he looks like THIS:

Sighworthy, no? I am SO in love with this guy. Thank goodness for embrace the camera days, it might be the only record of this little man’s first year here Here is what I’d like our moments to look like:

Annnnnnd what they actually look like:

Ah, these are the days of our lives.  I am so blessed.  Love these little people of mine.  More embrace the camera here.

Halloweeeeeeeen!  My new favorite time of year since I started having kids!  (Segue: Is it possible any parent on the internet hasn’t read this yet?  I find it hard to believe because it’s being re-posted all over the damn place but if you haven’t, please go there.  Read it.  I find that it captures most accurately how most of us (or at least myself) probably feel.  Especially this part, when I think about how much I love days like Halloween now, “There’s no better way to understand just how amazing humans are than the front row seat a child gives you to observe it all unfold from scratch each and every day, from literal square zero. Children give the first four years of your life back to you.“  Right???  Sigh.  I freaking love my kids.  And then to add to the earth-shattering, heart-breaking-love I feel about these two little wee wobblers I birthed from my loins, my friend Sarah posted this the other day and I read it while snuggling close to Noah in my bed, nursing him to sleep so of course I seconded and thirded every sentiment she wrote.  Beautiful, Sarah.  DITTO.)

Okay, back to the (cue Oprah’s BIG! EXCITED! VOICE!) Obligatory Hal-lo-weeeeeeeeeen pooooooooost!  For weeks now Avelyn has wanted to be a butterfly and by default of being too young to voice an opinion, Noah was going to be a caterpillar for his FIRST Halloween.  I found a great inspiration image online (seriously it would have been so great) but then the day before I planned to buy the needed materials she changed her mind.  She wanted to be a pink and purple witch.  We even practiced with some colorful wigs I have had lying around for years from the Chicago movie making days.
She looks good, no?  I thought so too.  I surely can’t rock that look.  Well anyway, a few days after the witch idea she moved onto wanting to be Coraline, from the movie, which is totally cool with me, but then a few days after that she wanted to be a fairy.  Long(er) story short, we were running out the clock, short on homemade costume time so I decided to take her to the mega store (I know, I know) and let her pick whatever she wanted.  And what she wanted was this:

Fierce!  Well of course we had to walk around and find a compliment costume for Noah because what would a good pirate do without a trusty pirate parrot sidekick?

Don’t you want to eat up all the adorableness???  I DO.  Pirate Avelyn was pretty confident in her ability to teach sword fighting, regardless of the fact she only took up the skill two days prior.  And as you can see, Noah took to it with a little gusto.

(Sword’s pointing the wrong way Baby boy.)

I’m not sure I’ve ever bought a costume-in-a-bag in my whole life for myself or anyone else, but for the price and the lack of stress involved in my usual “I’M NOT GOING TO FINISH ON TIME!” creative process, Avelyn wore that costume out!  She wore it to SeaWorld for the Halloween Spooktacular the Friday before, then all day to school on Halloween, only taking it off after school was out to take pictures with Noah at the pumpkin patch, then again that night for the big evening.  Plus they were the best looking pair of pirates the world has ever seen, DUH.

So anyway, if you’re interested and want to see all Halloween related SeaWorld/Pumpkin Patch/Trick or Treat related imagery, feel free to click the picture below and check them out on flickr.
I hope your holidays were as fantabulous as ours were.  Here’s to a great holiday season!

Four.  I wanted four kids.  FOUR, people. Clearly I was drinking too much crazy water back then.  My aforementioned stupid theory on child rearing (From my 20′s) goes as follows:

ONE – I knew for sure I didn’t want just one child because on the one hand only children have a tendency to be spoiled, childish and unable to relate to their peers (in my experience) and on the other hand I didn’t want to have just one child because should (god forbid) anything happen to said child I would be left childless and that would be awful.

TWO – Two just didn’t make any sense either because two is such a small number and what if (again, god forbid) something happened to one child and I was left with a now-only child?  See previous statement.

THREE – Three kids just wasn’t a valid option.  Middle child syndrome.  The end.

FOUR – This seemed to be the perfect number to me.  I avoid the only child complex, the middle child complex  and the fear of going from two to one.

FIVE – Yes, there was a time when I thought five kids was a great idea.  But  inside the theory I fall back into a middle-child category and also, FIVE IS WAY TOO FREAKING MANY KIDS.  I WOULD GO INSANE.

Well, now that I’m old (did I mention I turned 30 in April?) and now that I have two amazing kids, I know this for sure: My twenty year old self is a childless know-it-all fool.

It will never matter how many, or how few, children I have.  I will love them all with every fiber of my being in a way that no one else ever will.  There is no perfect number, no ability to really put a stop on how many you “want” because no matter how many kids I end up with, whether planned or “oops!” babies, I would want each and every one of them and love them no matter first or second or middle or last.  Because they are mine.  And mine are amazing.

Maybe it’s because Avelyn is growing into the most incredible little girl, or maybe it’s because my Noah is EIGHT MONTHS of bubbly baby perfection, or maybe it’s because there are 6 pregnant nurses on my unit but man, I am already wistful for the feeling of new life. 

I guess what I’m saying is that even though I am done having kids, I have the two most amazing children the world has ever seen… so that means if ever there were a third he or she would be mindblowing.  No?

I hesitate to tell you Avelyn has really gotten into photography because well, she’s THREE but honestly, she has.  She rarely smiles in front of the camera anymore but is more than happy to shoot away behind it.  I vow to keep track of her progress, if this is something she continues to show interest in, although maybe we ought to invest in a more affordable aka less breakable device.  Behold, a budding artist:

“Momma loves Noah”

More Embrace the Camera here

I love my babies. LOVE. THEM. More than my own life or anyone else’s. I also know I struggle with myself regularly to be the mom I want to be. I know that to be that person, I am happy to call my family complete as it is right now. My Avelyn. My baby Noah. The two loves of my life. (Plus that other guy). I feel like once I gain a foothold on this whole I’m-a-parent-of-more-than-one-kid-now thing I will be able to provide each of them with enough of myself that we are all okay.

I just want them to grow up and KNOW they are loved. I want them to KNOW that I cannot fathom my life without them. I want them to someday know that I’m not sure I would have been able to breathe without either of them in my life.

I still can’t believe he is here or that I’m not pregnant anymore, something I’m thankful for and something that breaks my heart all at the same time because I know that two children will probably be it for us. Save for winning the lottery or someone coming out with a pill to make me psychologically capable of handling the emotional demands (or even just a failed birth control method in the future), I do not plan to have any more babies. It’s a bittersweet acceptance. But also a jumping off point for my future.

The pros to my childbearing coming to an end include getting in shape like I’ve been wanting to and not worrying about blowing up with pregnancy again. I can look forward to (mostly) always sleeping through the night (again) once Noah is out of babyhood! I’ll never have to feel like my vagina is being ripped apart with a serrated knife! We can all fit relatively comfortably in a four door car, a restaurant booth or a three bedroom house.

Of course there are cons to this decision to. I’ll never get to feel a tiny body moving inside my belly again or feel the earth shake as I pull another baby from my womb and lay him on my chest. I’ll never get to feel the warm heartbeat of new life or stare at the beautiful face I’ve created until my eyes could stay open no more. These things leave a little room for wonder. Not to mention the fact that stopping at two means I will be denying the world the awesomeness of our future children….

Although I am comfortable with the decision to not have any more kids (I really, really, REALLY do believe it’s best for us, best for ME), I have to put it out there that if we ever decided to add “just one more” in a few years, I would be absolutely, positively 1,000% over the moon to meet one more beautiful soul.

*I wrote this post when Noah was 14 days old. I was afraid it didn’t make sense at the time so I didn’t post it. It’s now 88 days after wrote it and I know exactly why it’s taken me 88 days to put it out there: a) the three year old next to me that for the love of god won’t stop talking AND OH HOW I MISS HEARING MY OWN THOUGHTS. OR SILENCE. and b) the three month old that is finally taking a nap in his crib for the FIRST time all by himself. What can I say? It never stops.

My little Hobo turned three a few weeks ago.  THREE, INTERNETS.  Gah!  Even more astonishing is that she keeps getting better and better with age.  So basically, she’s just like me.

Embrace your week here