Where to begin? The past two weeks (Seriously? Two weeks? I can’t believe I’ve gone two weeks without blogging. It’s like I actually utilized my time wisely. Glad that’s over.) have been a roller coaster. I’m not really sure how much detail to go into, out of sheer exhaustion and pure peace that it is all over.

To make a very long story short, I almost did not graduate. I passed both of my classes, but due to a technicality in the grading system I was told that even though my final grade was passing, I would fail one class and thus be unable to graduate. Me and two other people. I would have to come back in the fall and take the entire class and clinical over again. Don’t even ask, the whole thing makes no sense. The grading policy made no sense, the syllabus was not clear. A million things were wrong with this situation. I cried, no sobbed, for two days. I could not imagine going through this separation from Kevin and Avelyn again. I felt myself falling into a dark hole of depression and just could not imagine that this was really happening. It was awful. But I fought hard to make it right. Kevin fought hard, writing letters which thankfully I never had to send, and breaking it all down in an easy to argue argument. I took it to my advisor who fought hard for all of us – and we won! The grading policy was changed, our whole class graduated and IT IS ALL OVER!!!!!!!!!

Monday, May 4th: Take my first final. Get an 84 on it. Get an 86 final average in the class. On the way home I get a phone call that I FAILED THE CLASS BECAUSE OF ANOTHER AVERAGE (that I won’t bore you with here) AND WILL NOT GRADUATE. Have mini breakdown. Freak out. Sob. Wail. Sink into deep anxiety laden depression. Still have to go home and study for the final on Tuesday. Nice.

Tuesday, May 5th: Take second final (that I pass with an 80 and get an 86 in the class even in the middle of this “you will not graduate you big fatty loser” sh*t). Walk out of the classroom and am met with a giant fat crazy b*tch of a human being all up in my face asking if I passed because she heard I had failed. Thanks giant fat crazy b*tch. Thanks a lot for making my sh*tty last day of school even sh*ttier. Guess I’ll just creep out this side door and avoid saying (possibly my last) goodbye to all my friends so my giant puffy crying face doesn’t bring them down on what should be a great last day of class. Crazy b*tch, I hate you. Go make out with another ho ho.

Wednesday, May 6th: Phone is off so I sleep until after 10am. Well needed rest. Wake up to 13 missed calls and 4 voicemails. Call back the only person who could give me the news I want. It’s official! They all agreed the syllabus was unclear and changed the grading policy! We all graduate! I have used my Crap Community Health nurse lobbying lecture and lobbied for change! I GET TO FREAKING GRADUATE! Call my fantastic friends who had been fighting just as hard and are just as excited about the news. Have a fabulous lunch with Darci and go home to relax until the end of year party later that day. Go to end of year party later that day and have a FAB-FAB-FABULOUS time. Have several drinks and lots of good conversation. Pull into the driveway around 12am just as Kevin and Avelyn pull up. Great day.

Thursday, May 7th: Wake up with a totally worth it hangover. We attend my pinning ceremony, a nursing school tradition. Kevin pins me and Avelyn does not scream watches in the back row with my grandparents. Afterward we take a few pictures with some Hobo stalkers friends and my advisor, Dr. Yu, who fought hard for me to graduate. I owe her something big

Friday, May 8th: Kevin, Avelyn and I have lunch with my childhood best friend Shannon and her son Cooper AKA Avelyn’s boy toy. They were born twelve days apart. You may remember him from tandem spit up days or the freaking cutest Halloween costume duo ever.

[Giant brackets as I segway into an interesting tidbit that just popped into my head. At the end of our 4th grade year Shannon and I both liked a boy named Robert McKeon. He called me on the phone one day (OMG! A BOY called ME on the PHONE!!!!!!!!!) and told me he liked me too and asked if I wanted to go out with him, or whatever fourth grade boys in 1991 might have said. My fourth grade self reallllllllllllllly wanted to but I was afraid to hurt Shannon’s feelings so I told him I would have to call him back. I called Shannon to make sure it was okay. She said it was but I could tell at school the next week she was not cool with it. I think Robert McKeon and I might have held hands maybe once, then I moved to a different school for fifth grade and we “broke up”. Well, I guess we broke up. Shannon told me during fifth grade year that he was dating some other girl from the FOURTH grade. WHORE! What a skanky loser, that Robert McKeon. Dumping me for a FOURTH grader just because I moved schools, hmph! I went back that year for their talent show to see my friends and his new girlfriend sang “My Favorite Things” from the Sound of Music. I swear to you I hate that song to this day. Below is Robert, top row, 2nd from the left. I’m on the 2nd row, far right and Shannon is wearing that kickin’ visor and sitting next to some girl I clearly did not like as evidenced by her scratched out face.]

Back to reality. Friday night is graduation. Pretty uneventful except for you know, the whole being totally done with nursing school and GRADUATING thing. I should have got more pictures with my homies.

Avelyn behaves swimmingly if you consider graduation didn’t start until 7pm and she usually goes to bed around 8pm. When all is said and done we are OUT of here, and we hit the road for San Antonio. Pull in around 2am. Too tired to feel anything.

Saturday, May 9th: Woke up to an amazing sensation of being home when a really cute little girl toddled in to say hello. We moved the big stuff from storage to the new house and I mowed and edged the front yard while Avelyn napped. Don’t remember much after that. Must have spent the evening recovering from Houston hell.

Sunday, May 10th: For Mother’s Day Kevin gave me a fantastic card and Avelyn gave me some beautiful dish towels, a book so I can pretend she likes me to read to her, and a card with some flower seeds for us to plant in our new garden this fall. I gave her a pony tail. I was really happy with my gifts. She was not so happy with hers.

Monday, May 11th: Spent allllllll day painting Avelyn’s room pink. Due to an unfortunate incident involving Kevin using the crapper and me accidently walking in on him only to be shooed away I was not able to get a pair of painting shorts out of the closet and ruined one of my two pairs of jeans that fit. Yes, I could have gone back for the shorts after he finished but I was flustered and forgot. Note to self – don’t walk in on Hubby in the crapper. It will mess you up for days.

Uncle Pennybags arrives Monday afternoon. Unfortunately we are not yet ready to move into our house. Unless I don’t mind retarding Hobo’s brain with paint fumes, which I do. Oh – and I also come down with the WORSTCOLDEVERRRRRR.

Tuesday-Wednesday: Spend time organizing, setting up, cleaning the new house and feeling really, really crappy. Contemplate slicing my nose off to relieve pressure and push myself too hard to get everything done. It’s worth it. We spend Wednesday night in OUR house.

Thursday, May 14th: Our FIRST day to wake up in our new house. Avelyn spends time getting the hang of having her own cabinet and leaving the rest of mine alone. She can do whatever she wants with the stuff in her cabinet. I am looking forward to the day I open the door and find her sitting in it. You know it’s coming. You also know five thousand pictures will be taken.

Friday, May 15th: I have no recollection of this day. I will assume it was the day I was prepared to die from the WORSTCOLDEVERRRRRR.

Saturday, May 16th: The washer that came with the house broke the first time we used it, which was not unexpected but annoying none the less. We buy a washer on Saturday, our very FIRST major appliance purchase ever. It’s really lame how excited I am about it. To celebrate this milestone we also buy Guitar Hero World Tour as a mutual Kevin/Jennifer belated birthday present to each other. Uncle Pennybags and Avelyn shared a paci high five to show their approval of this decision.

Sunday, May 17th: We drive to Rudy’s for the Worst Barbeque in Texas. It’s realllllly good. We drive back home and break out the monster bubble machine while Pennybags and Kevin rock the World Tour. The monster bubble machine is supposed to make bubbles. Big bubbles. Big bubbles with little bubbles inside them. It works on a sliding scale I think. When it works it’s really cool. And Avelyn looks amazingly beautiful. No surprise here.

Monday, May 18th: Called the store back about getting a delivery date for the washer I’m so excited about since the computers were down over the weekend and they couldn’t schedule a date. Was told the computer says it’s scheduled for delivery June 8th. JUNE 8th. Like THREE weeks away JUNE 8th. This is not acceptable. Grrrrr.

Dropped Avelyn off at school. She is being transitioned from the blue (infant) room to the orange (1-2’s) room this week. One of the many bittersweet moments I am getting used to. I’m so excited for her and all the things she has learned. I love her teachers and they have loved her and I hate she will have to leave them but I’m so excited for all that she will learn in the next room. They have dance class day and karate day and play outside… she is going to have so many fun experiences.

The house is coming together. We have a lot of space to fill, so many empty walls, a lonely dining room that holds six new chairs and one old ugly table begging to be refinished. I think I’m going to go buy Avelyn a swing to hang in the tree in the backyard. It’s shaded and she loves to swing so much. That should be nice.

I scheduled my test date for the NCLEX this morning. Thursday, June 4 at 12:15 I will be sitting down to start a 4 hour exam that will allow me to become Jennifer Welch, BSN, RN… hopefully. Guess I better get to studying this week.

Dropped Pennybags off at the airport. His sister-in-law has been diagnosed with cancer and had a biopsy today. She is pregnant with their second baby. Please pray for their family.

Picked Avelyn up from school and had a fantastic time chasing her around the house. She is getting so big and is so fast! Had dinner with Kevin’s parents at Luby’s where I gave Avelyn mashed potatoes for the third time. She finally decided they were tasty. Smart girl. Oh, and she is THIRTEEN months old today!

So that’s (briefly) what’s been going on around here. My Google Reader was so full when I finally checked in with you guys. Guess I better get back to reading what YOU’VE been up to!

So that’s the first piece of good news.  The second is I PASSED THE HESI!  I didn’t blow it out of the water but I scored above what I needed to score to pass and am now eligible to graduate.  Whew!  What a load off.  Of course there are still papers to write, exams to pass, clinicals to finish, asses to kiss…  Also the fact that I never ordered my graduation “regalia” (who comes up with these words!?) because a) I forgot and then b) I didn’t want to on principle.  Why should I pay that much money for something I will wear for 2 hours?  Why don’t you have a rental plan???  Sigh.  I’m thisclose to purchasing another one online and hoping it won’t stand out to much.  Although even if it does I’m toying with the idea of waltzing across the stage, grabbing my diploma and then doing the Michael Jackson crotch pull while yelling at the top of my lungs “Suck it SON!  I bought this here regalia for a third of what you paid.  Shut yo’ FACE!”  Still haven’t decided, too much maybe?

Oy.  The bad part about graduation is it’s elevated level of importance.  I don’t like the attention a graduation ceremony entails.  I am not an attention whore. I  don’t get turned on or revved up by people fawning over me or my accomplishments, droning on and on, asking question after question, giving me gifts I didn’t want or ask for… I don’t need any of that.  I need Kevin and Avelyn to be there.  That’s pretty much it although I would like for our parents and my grandparents and my brother or sister if they wanted to come.  (That’s right Stephanie, because I have been too busy to call or write but since I know you read this blog even though you NEVER COMMENT YOU BAD BLOG READER! You should know you are invited to come if you want to.)  We’re planning on early dinner, graduation and HOME since Hobo needs her beauty rest.

And that’s it, just those people mentioned above.  Nobody else.  Nobody.  I wonder if that’s too subtle.  And no I will not remove this statement because if you will recall an earlier post from a mere two weeks ago (just two weeks!?) this is my blog and I can say whatever I want on my blog.  Even though out of respect for my husband and THE REST OF MY MARRIED LIFE I usually don’t.  See, I’m not even saying it now.  Anyway, if you will recall:

“…My therapist and friendapist both said the same thing – I should quit feeling guilty about my FEELINGS.  They’re MY feelings and it’s how I FEEL so I am allowed to FEEL this way dammit.”

Well, my FEELINGS are feeling like they don’t want anyone else to ruin MY day.  So I get to set the rules.  (Please stay tuned for the post-graduation post where I will proceed to angrily relive the inevitable breaking of these rules in order to keep family peace.  Because clearly my feelings do not matter much of the time.)

A very dramatic ANYWAY… Tonight I sit here thinking how freaking scared I am to graduate from nursing school with the implication I somehow know what to do to take care of people.  I mean I just spent two years in nursing school, shouldn’t I know more about how to nurse?!  (Hmm, note to Self: Look into whether being unable to successfully nurse your first born child is related to being unable to be a good nurse.  Kidding, Self.  Get a sense of humor already.)  Out of the 160 questions on the HESI I must have stared dumbfounded at 155 of them wondering in what universe I was supposed to have been taught this.  Whaaaaaa?  H-E-A-R-T?  What is a heart?  Do I have it?  Am I coming down with ‘heart’? IS THERE A CURE?  AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!  Oh wait, that heart?

I am leaving for San Antonio first thing after Community Hellth clinical tomorrow.  We are getting Avelyn’s first birthday pictures and our first family pictures on Saturday.  We’re just going to the cruddy ol’ portrait studio for now because we don’t have the money to get the kind of pictures I want but we will do it sometime this year.  Hopefully we will have good weather and can get out of the house and have a family day at the park or something.  That reminds me, I can’t wait for April 15th when our lease starts and we can start the slow move in.  Do you understand the significance of this move?  Do you?  It means a house, not an apartment that shares walls with noisy neighbors.  It means living together, just the three of us for the FIRST time in twenty one months.  It means walking around in our underwear if we want to, just because.  It means freedom, independence, the ability to raise my daughter without being questioned and lectured about every cough, sneeze, out of place hair follicle, no matter how well meaning it may be.  It means not having to watch Fox News, heck not having the TV on 56 hours a day, being able to wake up at 7:30am with my baby and spend time alone with her, just me and her.  Above all it means all the mistakes, decisions, sacrifices and prayers have been worth it and we can start being the family I want us to be.

I GOT A JOB!

My interview on Monday went really well (clearly).  The Nurse Manager I interviewed with told me he had a few more candidates to talk to but that I sounded like I had all the qualities he was looking for and I really impressed him during the interview.  I was all, Uh duh Dude, but I bet you say that to all the interviewees and he was all, no way man, you totally rocked it so then I was like yeah, I know, I am FREAKING BAD ASS and he was like yeah, yeah you are.  Then he said HR would be contacting me in the coming weeks.  Exactly 3 hours and 21 minutes after I left the building HR called and told me the job was mine.  IN YO’ FACE all you other [alleged] interviewees!

So I’m supposed to wait for the head HR lady to call me on Monday with all the details.  I need to find out what the deadline to accept is, since I am still hoping to hear from a few more hospitals.  I would like to have a few offers and be able to choose the best one for me but honestly, all I wanted was ONE and I got it.  I think I would really love working in the Pedi ER and I would get to see a lot of stuff I might not see elsewhere.  I’m a little proud of myself so I’ll go ahead and say it,

GO ME!

We were supposed to go to the zoo with some friends on Wednesday but wouldn’t you know we got rained/winded/COLLLLLDED out.  What the hell Weather?  Every freaking year, huh?  Well at least you’re consistent.  The rest of our week went nice and slow and perfect but somehow it’s turned into Saturday and I don’t like it one bit.  Booooooo urns. 

Yesterday we took advantage of my cousin’s loaner house key and hung out at her place while she was out of town.  We needed to get out of the house.  Unfortunately it was 61 degrees inside since she was gone and we nearly froze our patooties off — until we discovered the heart pounding, sweat inducing Holy Grail of my kind of video games AKA Guitar Hero.

Why had I never played this before?  Why am I always the last to come around and finally try something everyone else has been raving about and playing for years?  Sweet Mary’s Little Lamb that game is fun and might I most humbly say

I. AM. AWESOME. AT. IT.

No, really I am.  I kicked Weezer’s “My Name Is Jonas” ass and have a burning desire to play this game continuously until I hold top rank on every song on the playlist.  Granted we started on Easy level but if memory serves I did outplay Kevin pretty consistently.  He did better on a few songs but I think I totally rule overall.  (Dear Hubby, I so rarely win at anything please let me continue to believe this even if it is a totally false memory.  Thank you.)

A few of you on Facebook have already let me know that Rock Band should be played next and bought soon and very soon because, uh, it rocks.  I am looking forward to it.

Since I’ve been MIA for a while and I like to believe a few of you obsessively check the site bi-hourly for updates I thought I would pay you back with a Super Hobo fix and provide a teeniny glimpse of our week.

55 days to Momma’s graduation! 

(HOLY FREAKING COW!)

Oh yeah, I was just reminded by my poltergeist to tell you there is a poltergeist in my house. He’s kind of lame but clearly has some message to get across.

Anyway, I love this WebCam. I don’t know how these women do it, 12 hours a day keeping all those babies busy. They are simultaneously feeding with the hands, rocking with a foot, singing to the rest of the group…very impressive. I am so thankful we’ve found a place that so far exceeds my expectations of what a daycare is.

I have to apologize for my lack of pizazzy posts recently. For some reason I have just been writing the most boring and dumpy posts. Not feeling too creative these days I guess. My baby moved away, I’m way behind on work and I’m packing up the apartment to move at the end of the month. Ugh. I HATE packing. Luckily I kept all the boxes from the last move and it’s moving along speedily. [Update: I'm moving to live with my grandparents for the rest of the semester. We decided since Avelyn's daycare is about as much as our rent was costing, we would cut our losses and get out of this place. We could barely afford to live here, why stay in this dump by myself? Plus all of the troubles we've had with this place have put me over the edge. Grrr.]

I still haven’t heard from my High Acuity L&D preceptor. Her mother died a week ago and I haven’t wanted to bother her about getting to work but I really need to get started. I guess I’ll try to call tomorrow. Today my brain and body are zapped from the looooooong day of Community Health clinical. Who knew sitting in a room for hours on end discussing our plan to make fat people that like to eat thin could make you want to go home and gorge yourself on strawberry cupcakes? I knew. And I did it anyway. Way to set an example, Momma.

You know, it just crossed my mind that maybe all the funny left the house with Avelyn. I haven’t written one humorous thing since we decided to move her. Could it be that the source of my hilarity lies in my uterus? That the connection my uterus felt to Avelyn is no longer available with her 205 miles away? What would that mean for my future? When she moves away for college will I turn into a sad, frumpy lump of not-funny woman? I mean I guess if I have more kids the funny will come back but for how long? These are things that I waste my time thinking about. It’s a wonder I never get anything done.

Here’s your daily Hobo.

PS – don’t ask to see the WebCam. You’re not gettin’ it.

Three years ago this month I was living in Jersey City, NJ sending resumes to every company in New York with a job description that may or may not be describing me. I had worked a total of two whole days in the previous five months and that was freelance, emphasis on the free. Somewhere in the next month I would find myself sitting in an interview for a job completely unrelated to my field (that I was really more interested in than anything in my field) realizing I hated design, I missed the medical field and I was unhappy. It would take another few days of tossing and turning, late night list and chart making to come to a conclusion that would change my and Kevin’s future – I wanted to back to school. Gasp! I wanted to go back to nursing school.

It really was a crazy idea when I look back at everything and I am so grateful Kevin did not second guess my decision. He did make sure I knew what I was doing but after he realized how serious I was he supported me completely.

Now here I am three years later, about to graduate and move back to San Antonio to start my career (yikes!) and make the life for myself and my family that I’ve always wanted. How exciting.

I am so grateful for the friends I’ve made in Houston, the relationship Avelyn is getting to experience with her great-grandparents and all of the support from friends and family. It is not always easy, but I know in the end it will always be worth it. I am embarking on a career that I love, pursuing an area of nursing I am passionate about and am excited about all the doors I am opening for myself and my daughter.

Please pray for me this semester that I can focus and finish this degree and be proud of the effort I’ve put in. This will be a big year for all of us, full of change. My baby will be ONE YEAR OLD in April! I will graduate with a BSN in May. Earn my RN soon after. Get a JOB and move back to live with my HUSBAND. We will be a 24/7 FAMILY again! Well, until Kevin goes to Chicago for seven weeks again in the summer I’m getting the feeling we will be just fine…

In other news, I am officially tired of having pets. Is that awful to say? Oh well, it’s my blog so I can say it. It’s not that I really love them less now that I have a real baby, but I do love them differently. I want to spend so much time with Avelyn, and I’m so focused on her or keeping myself sane that I just tire of the animals very easily. I’m tired of Etta having to sleep on the bed because she’ll pee and poop on the floor if left unattended. I’m tired of her jumping down at 3am every night and doing just that. I’m tired of stepping in pee, picking up poop on the stairs, timing when she eats so she can have her medicine on schedule, shoving the handful of pills down her throat 20 times until she swallows them, listening to her whine because the meds make her want to eat all damn day. Ugh. I know how awful this sounds. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad she’s better and she’s still my dog but man, having Avelyn really put it into perspective for me. Am I the only terrible pet owner out there? In the past I might have been insulted had someone uttered the words, “It’s just a dog” but now… well, she’s just a dog. I love her, she is sweet and she’s mine and I’ll be sad when she goes one day but do I tear up and have a panic attack thinking about my life without her? No. Am I the only woman who went from doting on a cute puppy and an evil cat to wishing they would go live with Kevin in San Antonio so I didn’t have to constantly clean up after them, yell at them to get off the baby’s blanket and not to lick her mouth? Honestly I just don’t have the time. Not that I have a full plate or anything… it feels good to get that load off.

Today at school a few of us old married ladies (and one super cute soon to be married lady) sat around and had a grand time commiserating the stupidity of husbands. It was just what the doctor ordered. Sometimes I think we women just need to hear that we’re not alone, that 99% of other wives are living with an oaf too. (Love you, Babe, remember that). Here is a rundown of the top list of complaints, in no particular order:

Dear Husband,

• You’re not 4 and I ain’t your Momma, so instead of throwing them on the floor for me to find, seethe about and eventually pick up while cursing your name, why don’t you put your own dirty clothes in the basket when you take them off.
• The dishwasher is 6 inches away from the sink. That’s where dirty dishes go.
• You know when I said, “okay I have to study so please don’t distract me”? I MEANT IT! SHUT UP! Think of me studying as you watching football, only important.
• Yes, you are right. The floor will just get dirty again but it has to be cleaned and newsflash – I got the vacuum in black and the Swiffer in green so it’s manly enough for you to use it. Also, when we have/since we have small ones it has to be cleaned every day because small ones roll/crawl/pick up everything on the floor so let’s not give ‘em anything to pick up.
• Uh, unless I sleepshave those little hairs all over the bathroom counter are yours and while we’re at it is it too much to ask that you wipe the water off the counter so I don’t get that sopping horizontal line across my crotch?
• I have been working for the last twelve hours at the hospital. I started before the sun came up and left after it went down. I only get a 30 minute lunch break and my sandwich was soggy from the fridge. My feet look like hooves. Did you seriously just ask me what we’re having for dinner?
• Oh yeah and just so you know, at the end of the day when you start breathing down my neck and feeling me up and I say “I’m just really tired” it literally means “I’m (in no way JUST) really tired”. It can also mean “I’ve been felt up by kids all day and need some ‘nobody touch me’ time” or “I recently pushed a baby out of there and now I don’t know where anything is anymore” or it could mean “I’ll sleep with you when you throw your own underwear in the wash, do the dishes, turn off the TV when I need you to, pick up and sweep the floor, wipe down all the counters and cook us dinner. All on your own. Without me asking or telling. Or congratulating you. I do it day in and day out without accolade so I know it’s not an insane request.

I would just like to follow with this notice:

Ladies, care to comment? Or gentlemen, I believe in free speech and equality.

For the ladies who know who they are…

[JAR: Today in JAR Jennifer got a 100 on her pedi test. When the "100! You are AWESOME" popped up on the screen confetti and balloons fell from the ceiling and a mariachi band played. She was carried out on a chair, high in the air while the crowd sang "For she's a jolly good fella..." Afterward it was announced on loud speaker that OB was canceled for the rest of the semester and in it's place would be margarita happy hour every week from 1-4pm. As if that wasn't enough it would also be all you can eat guacamole and hot pretzels! And chocolate ice cream! And Laffy Taffy... oops I digress. After indulging herself Jennifer returned home to find Avelyn sitting in the middle of the floor reading Dostoevsky and demanding tea and crumpets. She smiled, closed the door and hugged her 96 pound baby.]