Halloweeeeeeeen!  My new favorite time of year since I started having kids!  (Segue: Is it possible any parent on the internet hasn’t read this yet?  I find it hard to believe because it’s being re-posted all over the damn place but if you haven’t, please go there.  Read it.  I find that it captures most accurately how most of us (or at least myself) probably feel.  Especially this part, when I think about how much I love days like Halloween now, “There’s no better way to understand just how amazing humans are than the front row seat a child gives you to observe it all unfold from scratch each and every day, from literal square zero. Children give the first four years of your life back to you.“  Right???  Sigh.  I freaking love my kids.  And then to add to the earth-shattering, heart-breaking-love I feel about these two little wee wobblers I birthed from my loins, my friend Sarah posted this the other day and I read it while snuggling close to Noah in my bed, nursing him to sleep so of course I seconded and thirded every sentiment she wrote.  Beautiful, Sarah.  DITTO.)

Okay, back to the (cue Oprah’s BIG! EXCITED! VOICE!) Obligatory Hal-lo-weeeeeeeeeen pooooooooost!  For weeks now Avelyn has wanted to be a butterfly and by default of being too young to voice an opinion, Noah was going to be a caterpillar for his FIRST Halloween.  I found a great inspiration image online (seriously it would have been so great) but then the day before I planned to buy the needed materials she changed her mind.  She wanted to be a pink and purple witch.  We even practiced with some colorful wigs I have had lying around for years from the Chicago movie making days.
She looks good, no?  I thought so too.  I surely can’t rock that look.  Well anyway, a few days after the witch idea she moved onto wanting to be Coraline, from the movie, which is totally cool with me, but then a few days after that she wanted to be a fairy.  Long(er) story short, we were running out the clock, short on homemade costume time so I decided to take her to the mega store (I know, I know) and let her pick whatever she wanted.  And what she wanted was this:

Fierce!  Well of course we had to walk around and find a compliment costume for Noah because what would a good pirate do without a trusty pirate parrot sidekick?

Don’t you want to eat up all the adorableness???  I DO.  Pirate Avelyn was pretty confident in her ability to teach sword fighting, regardless of the fact she only took up the skill two days prior.  And as you can see, Noah took to it with a little gusto.

(Sword’s pointing the wrong way Baby boy.)

I’m not sure I’ve ever bought a costume-in-a-bag in my whole life for myself or anyone else, but for the price and the lack of stress involved in my usual “I’M NOT GOING TO FINISH ON TIME!” creative process, Avelyn wore that costume out!  She wore it to SeaWorld for the Halloween Spooktacular the Friday before, then all day to school on Halloween, only taking it off after school was out to take pictures with Noah at the pumpkin patch, then again that night for the big evening.  Plus they were the best looking pair of pirates the world has ever seen, DUH.

So anyway, if you’re interested and want to see all Halloween related SeaWorld/Pumpkin Patch/Trick or Treat related imagery, feel free to click the picture below and check them out on flickr.
I hope your holidays were as fantabulous as ours were.  Here’s to a great holiday season!

My little Hobo turned three a few weeks ago.  THREE, INTERNETS.  Gah!  Even more astonishing is that she keeps getting better and better with age.  So basically, she’s just like me.

Embrace your week here

I had trouble uploading the photos I wanted to share in this post, so instead I threw a bunch of stuff in a video, which I think turned out better than any old photo would have.  My apologies for the length, until I can afford a new computer I am working with the limited software that came with my video camera and sometimes the editing process isn’t worth the headache.

Enjoy, and embrace your own little moments.

Smart girl.

We started the month early on with our first Halloween decorations, and we went all out too.  Spiderwebs and orange web lights in the bushes.  Lightup Frankenstein and tombstones for Avelyn (very cutesy) and tombstones and skulls and skeletons for Kevin (scary).  Did we get a picture of it before I tore it down?  No.  Commemorative fail.

Next we moved on to cookies.  What can I say about the cookies?  We had a great time together, in between me getting all controlling when it came to the icing process and possibly snapping a few things in a few tones I regret while trying to breathe deep and remind myself that they were, after all, just cookies.  Cookies that would be eaten in a very short time.  Cookies that we were making for the sole purpose of making memories and having a tyrant baking mother was not the memory I wanted to leave.  It was all okay after that brief realization.  And the cookies were delicious by the way, I ate way too many.

Even more delicious was this little moment.  Sigh.

I don’t remember getting around to pumpkins or carving the last few years.  Actually, it may be at least 10 years since we’ve done that, but this year was different.  This year I have a two year old, and she was totally psyched about everything Halloween.  I took her to the pumpkin patch and let her pick out a family of pumpkins.  We got one for each of us, that is each of us that is physically here and walking around.  Which means that someone forgot to get a pumpkin for a fetus that shall remain nameless (because he doesn’t have a name yet, ha) and in turn someone was really upset that the other someone had forgotten about “baby brudder”. A quick stop the next day and we had our family of pumpkins ready to go.  Not too shabby.

Although the disgusting pile of melting jack o’ lanterns that sat rotting on our porch the next week was kind of gross.  It was sad to see them go before the actual Halloween night but they had a good run.  And I guess it’s fitting that it was the old people pumpkins that died first, as the two sibling pumpkins that were just painted instead of surgically altered remain sitting strong on the front stoop today.

And as you can see here, Avelyn was very helpful in the pumpkin carving preparatory process as well.

So finally, Halloween.  We’d been talking about what Halloween is and what happens and dressing up for weeks.  After multiple costume suggestions by us both, which included a “butterfwy firehydwant” among many others, we finally agreed on a concept.  An internet search for ideas left me with very little.  In the end we made this:

Please recognize the look of sheer pride on the face of the girl with pink hair, which was her major contribution to the main theme.

Last year we missed the neighborhood costume parade when we went to a party but this year we made a point to go.  It was totally worth it as evidenced by the look on her face:

So, that was our Halloween.  Next up, Thanksgiving with my best friend (which is shaping up to be a mighty awesome Thanksgiving indeed) followed by Christmas: MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.  (Aside from the anxiety that naturally comes with it, but enough of that, I’ve got weeks of dread and blogging ahead.  Get ready.)

Might I just end on a sweet note?

Hope your holiday was just as sweet!

And no, I can’t believe I am posting this picture either because
    a) check out the metal mouth (5-1/2 YEARS of metal mouth mind you)  
    b) we look like infants and  
    c) it is yet another example of why I should never EVER take self portraits

Unfortunately there are a lot of photos like this, most of which have been burned if you know what’s good for you Katie Richey!)

Anyway Stef’s daughter is 3 months younger than Avelyn, and they were clearly meant to live closer together so they could be BFF’s and scream their little heads off with each other everyday. The introductions were a little rocky, with Avelyn refusing to speak to anyone or sit further than 1 inch away from me at the table.  I also suspect I’m not the only one who noticed her penchant for scowls and silence when she’s uncomfortable.  Who knew it was genetic? 

Once lunch was over and we got the girls to an unoccupied room in the restaurant they discovered they could run free and really hit it off.  And by hit it off I mean Avelyn decided that not only was running around really-super-duper-freaking-cool but running around with her mouth wide open screaming was FREAKING AWESOOOOOOOOOOME!  Like a natural born big sister (and don’t read too much into that statement; it’s not ANYTIME SOON) she set the example for her little friend who quickly followed suit. 

It turned out to be pretty cold in Austin that day and I started to wish I had worn something warmer than my old maternity sweater and my black leggings (Of which I am starting to think make me look fat.  Still considering this prospect).  Regardless of the cool temps, we felt it would be in the best interest of restaurant go-ers everywhere to take the screaming girls outside, where they proceeded to do two things very well:

One: look ohmygod-ohmygod-ohmygod-SO-CUTE!

And two: continue to run around screaming.

I had such a good time catching up with an old friend.  It was loads of fun to see Stefany again and introduce our husbands and A-dorable baby girls.  How lucky am I to have friends that would drive 200 miles to have lunch with me(!) after they already had 2,100 miles under their belt that trip.  (Really lucky for me is that I like her, as it is probably true that I might know several people who would do that, but not necessarily many that I like.  But anywho…)

(This picture has nothing to do with anything I’m typing, I just love it. Isn’t she a doll?)

After lunch I rounded out the afternoon with a genius plan I’d cooked up months ago when Stef told me they were coming to Texas.  There is an Ikea just north of Austin and we would just happen to be 15 minutes away the day after Thanksgiving.  SCORE!  I spent too much money and didn’t get nearly enough stuff but now I have an excuse to troll through my thousands of pictures on my computer and print out some good ones to be framed.  I also purchased a set of glass jars that I thought would make great craft supply organizers.  I was right.  AND I ONLY BOUGHT ONE FOUR-PACK.  WHAT WAS I THINKING?!  I could have bought 100 and found uses for all of them!  Now I have to make a point to drive back up there.  Ohhhhhh noooooo. 

So, that was my day after Thanksgiving.  And it was great.  And free of stress.  And to top it off I didn’t have to work that night.  What a difference a decade makes.

Luckily it didn’t come to that point – yet - but only because once dinner/bath/book was over with I flopped her down and ran  sweetly placed her (no really, it was sweet and with tons of kisses and “I love you”s) in her crib and took off. I just couldn’t take one more second of the whining.  The sheer amount of whining I tell you!  Seemingly about nothing!  Maybe her tooth hurts, maybe she’s bored, maybe she’s hungry, maybe a fly landed on some stray hair on her head, I DON’T KNOW because the child is still just a baby and can’t talk.  AGH I have never wanted a child to talk more in my life.  Please talk, Avelyn.  Please.  Mommy needs you to form actual words and tell me exactly what you are thinking.  I’m not a mind reader and this crying thing is not the best communication tool. 

I can hear some of you now.  You’re talking to the computer screen in a really obnoxious sing song voice saying, ”Be careful what you wish for!  One day you’ll beg her to STOP talking.” Well, you can keep your big mouth shut, thank you very much. I know that day will come and when it does I will appreciate very much if you would keep your, “See, I told you so” to yourself and if you just can’t resist don’t say I didn’t warn you when I reply back and call you a really dirty name.  When that day comes I will be the first to reference back to this very day, when I begged and pleaded for my child to speak.

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(Today)
Thanksgiving was fine. The usual annoyances with the usual family members (but hey, that’s family) but thankfully (no pun intended) there were no tears, no breakdowns and no name calling this year.  A success in my book and that’s all I want to say about Thanksgiving. The Hobo helped me make a homemade cheesecake the day before and had a marvelous time with her “cookin’ stick”, which she uses to help at every meal she prepares.  Let me tell you that girl makes a mean cheesecake. 

Speaking of which, how long is cream cheese good for?  I’m still nibbling on it now, literally right now as I type.  Hope that doesn’t come back to bite me in a few hours…

I will say one more thing about Thanksgiving and that is A looked ravishing in the dress I bought for her to wear the day after Thanksgiving, but she insisted on wearing the day of.  She has hit an independent streak (don’t know where she gets it) and is very vocal about what she wears sometimes.  See above paragraphs regarding SHEER EXHAUSTION FROM THE WHINING.

The kid barely ate anything but if I recall she did quite enjoy the homemade cranberry sauce she helped me make and for that I was satisfied.  The rest of the day was spent trying to keep her calm and feeling safe since some other people had brought their dog to the house and A is scared of dogs.  Please don’t ask why they didn’t remove the dog from the family room where the family and my terrified daughter was because a) I have no polite answer and  b) it might cause WW3 and I really don’t think we need another unnecessary war right now.  Also I’m totally over it because the real reason I could come up with is rather sad and pathetic and anyway the Hobo and I had a great time walking around outside picking flowers and generally looking cute.

Thanksgiving.  It’s over.  The End.  I AM SO EXCITED FOR CHRISTMAS!

is this little BABY from last year??

NEITHER CAN I.  GAH!

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The Peacock was the last idea I had for a costume, after a few superheros, a fairy or two and a spork.  Okay, maybe the spork was never actually thought of until just now but how awesome would a spork costume be?  I’ll have to file that one away.

So, it started with an idea.  An idea that went a little something like this:

I should start by saying that I have a lot of grand ideas.  Lots.  However, I tend to get caught up in the details and obsess about getting everything just right so many of my ideas never come to fruition.  Also hindering my creative outlet is the fact that a) I had no children until 18 months ago and b) I was in school during most of the last 18 months and had no time to do anything artistic.  I should also say that I have waited my whole life to have kids to do art projects with and make costumes for like my mom did for my siblings and I.  I get my creative gene from her.  (Thanks Mom).  It’s one of the few genes I will claim out loud she gave me.  (Ha ha. Sorry Mom).  I’m not sure if I ever wore a store bought costume in all my years of trick or treating; she made them all.

Foil Head (kidding), Can of Paint, Shaggy Dog, Snowman

Granted, I was not appreciative of all of them.  After all, as Annalee wrote just today, there is something so wonderful to a child about that awful vinyl store bought costume all your friends are wearing.  And when you’re the only kid wearing a city trash clean up bag the size of Rhode Island you might feel a little jipped no matter how long it took your mother to shred that bag into a Shaggy Dog.

So anyway, I love making things with Avelyn, and I LOVE coming up with her costume ideas.  In fact, two weeks ago we took a cue from the brilliant SAJ and recycled a few giant diaper boxes and cut out cardboard Halloween shapes and painted them.  We had a black bat swinging in our kitchen window, a friendly ghost with rosy cheeks, a cackling witch with bright green skin and my favorite, the spooky house.  I really wanted to take pictures of the whole process and the final product and share them with you but that would have taken time away from the fun we were having, which seems a whole lot more important.  I only have three photos to show for it.  It is a super easy, super cheap and really fun project to do with kids and it’s recyclable when the holiday is over.  You do the cutting and let them do the painting.  (And yes, as you can see I did most of the painting this time around, but I swear to you that Avelyn painted the whole pumpkin all by herself, you just can’t tell from this distance.)

(First round of painting, Our giraffe playing in front of the spooky house, Breakfast with the ghost)

Back to the real Halloween.  I planned to have the costume finished two weeks ago so we could have her pictures taken.  That didn’t happen.  I wanted it to be perfect and I figured if I had two weeks until Halloween then why rush just for some crappy portraits?  We take better photos anyway.

My biggest problem when it comes to making anything is 1) I don’t have a sewing machine and 2) I don’t know how to sew.  Although I’m pretty sure the latter problem could be easily rectified if I just BOUGHT A SEWING MACHINE.  KEVIN.  HINT HINT.  (I say that but I will probably buy one before Christmas because I still need to make Avelyn a stocking and I have big ideas.  SURPRISE!)

So, I knew exactly how to make the tutu but I thought long and hard about how to make the shirt.  I came up with several ideas

and in the end settled on the last one.  But the Top/Right image is just so darn cute I may have to make her that shirt to wear in her regular wardrobe.  How adorable would that be?

It really was not difficult, just a little time consuming, but that could be because if you haven’t picked up on it by now, I tend to pay attention to detail.  Like, a lot.

“Hello, my name is Jennifer, and I am a detailaholic.”

I’m not kidding when I say that.  I believe it’s all in the details.  I feel most happy when my floors are vaccummed clean, my child is always color coordinated (when I dress her), my kitchen countertops are always crumb free and wiped clean, and I’m not ashamed to admit my gift wrapping skills are superior to most.  That doesn’t mean I judge you by my standards, I just have a nervous NEED to have it this way at my house.  I also organize my Skittles into piles by color so I can make sure I have the same number of each and eat them in order ending with red, of course.

Just so you know, I’ve always been this crazy.

Back to before I told you I was crazy, I glued two colors of large sequins together to make the multidimensional green feathers at the base of the peacock body and glued them all individually to a white long sleeve shirt.  Then I glued green beads between all the sequins and cut out and backstitched three layers of felt by hand to make the “peacock eye” feathers and glued them to the shirt.

I put some peacock feathers and some blue feathers in her hair and that was it!  I am really proud of the final product.  For one she looked adorable (no more than usual of course since she is always stunning) but she also won first place for best costume at the party we went to!  Double proud!

Costume test run: nothing fell off the shirt.  SCORE!

Five minutes at the party and she’s already hitting the bottle. My Little Lady indeed.

This is definitely being printed and framed.

I would love to post all my favorites but I already uploaded them all in the Fallness folder on Flickr, and there are only about 30 of them so you really have no reason not to click over and view them here.

I hope your holiday was as fantastic as ours!

77 days to Momma’s graduation!

It also brings family which in itself brings stress and anxiety. Oi.

My time in San Antonio started out great. I finished my final on Wednesday the 17th, had lunch with some friends and hit the road for SA. I pulled in just in time to see Avelyn’s face light up when she saw me and I put her to bed. Man she’s beautiful. We had some good days of shopping and eating and baking cookies then Avelyn caught a nasty cold. She was so pitiful and congested and couldn’t eat much for days. It’s hard to suck on a bottle when your nose is full of snot. For all of it she sure makes being sick look good.

Monday some of Kevin’s family arrived and we had a good time introducing Avelyn to them. She fell in love with Kevin’s cousin, warmed up to Great Aunt K the second day and took a few more days to get past Great Uncle T’s mustache. I guess she thought he was trying to hide or something. Tuesday morning we learned two things. One, that she is a born gift wrapper and took to decorating packages like a pro. (Or at least ripping bows off and beating people with empty paper rolls.) Two, that the kid loves Truffles. (Or at least the noise they make when you shake the heck out of them.)

Wednesday was Christmas Eve, and only slightly more stressful because everyone who was coming to Christmas was here. Between becoming a mother (and the empowerment that comes with it) and Prozac I am much better equipped to handle this kind of stress than I used to be. I know I can take a deep breath, go in the other room for a bit and come out renewed and refreshed. If all else fails I can always use the excuse “Well, Avelyn is so stopped up that she can’t breathe when she sleeps. I’m going to lay down with her so she’ll get a decent nap.” I don’t know what I’ll do when my kids are grown and I can’t use them as a getaway excuse anymore.

We went to Christmas Eve service and danced Avelyn around in her gorgeous red Christmas dress. She looked so beautiful! I took her up front during the kids reading and the preacher talked about what Joy meant and handed out little “JOY” ornaments to all the children. I just kept watching her face light up when she stared at other kids faces, or at the beautiful red poinsettias everywhere. Her face is the definition of pure JOY.

Kevin and I both know each other’s family traditions. It took me years when we were dating to accept the fact that (gasp!) not every family worked like mine and opened wrapped gifts on Christmas morning. As a matter of fact, I can remember most of our “How the Holiday’s Work” conversations, including the most recent on 12/22/08, going a little like this:

“But the holiday is Christmas! Not Christmas Eve! You don’t open Christmas presents on Christmas Eve!”

“Yes you do! You only open Santa presents on Christmas day.”

“But you’re all old. Nobody gets Santa presents anymore!”

“Yeah. Now we open them all on Christmas Eve. We got Santa presents when we were little. He left them by the fireplace.”

“Uh, what? What do you mean by the fireplace? Not under the Christmas tree?”

“No. Why would he leave them under the tree? He comes down the fireplace, leaves the gifts and runs back to his sleigh. He’s got a lot of houses to hit. He doesn’t have time to walk them all to the tree. And they’re not wrapped, that’s how you know they’re from Santa.”

“WHAT!?!? What do you mean they’re not wrapped? Presents are always wrapped! And under the CHRISTMAS tree! It’s Christmas!”

“Uh, why would Santa wrap presents? He doesn’t have time to wrap presents. He makes toys in his toy shop and leaves them by the fireplace. Unwrapped.”

“Please stop talking, you’re going to make me cry. I’m serious. That is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. Our children will always have wrapped presents from Santa under the tree.”

After a heated discussion and some tears on my part we eventually found a compromise. Our kids will have the bulk of Christmas on Christmas day. On Kevin’s year when we are with his family we will do big family Christmas on Christmas Eve and save our special “just us” Christmas and Santa presents for Christmas morning. On my year we will stay at home, in our house so they can wake up to presents under their tree in their house with just us. It’s important to me. Oh and their presents on Christmas morning WILL be wrapped, under the tree. Some “big” Santa gifts, like a bike or say, a pink piano will be uncovered, left quickly by Santa. Maybe by a fireplace, maybe not.

Anyway, that part is settled. At least until next year I’m sure.

After Christmas Eve service and Christmas Eve cheeseburgers, tator tots and baked beans I bathed Avelyn and got her ready for preseeeeeeeents!! She pulled a pretty good haul and is one of the best gift receivers I’ve ever seen, especially for an eight month old. I was both impressed and proud. She did awesome until four presents from the end when she decided she’d had enough and refused any more gifts. Man, would you guys ever turn down gifts? She can be such a baby when she wants to.

After some tears, some bottle and some hugging Avelyn went to sleep and the grownups opened preseeeeeeeents! Kevin and I made out pretty well ourselves as evidenced by the best present ever, the iPhone box (we got the phone a few days prior), and my favorite surprise present the SoundSpa Premier Clock Radio that projects time and temp on the ceiling. It’s awesome. Especially if you sleep in the same room as your baby and you constantly worry if she’s too cold or too hot. For some reason Kevin got a ton of dress shirts and we’re still not sure why but they are very nice shirts so he should be set for a while. Thanks Welch Fam!

Okay, that didn’t happen. What did happen was pretty cute though. We set up the video camera and used the last 20 minutes of tape to record Avelyn’s First Christmas. It should be up for an Oscar this year. She absolutely loooooves her pink piano! She can’t get enough of it and she is really good. She mostly plays good morning tunes and some progressive jazz. She also plays for tips so if you’re ever in town…. In addition to the pink piano Santa left some books, a bucket of pink blocks, time honored pop beads, a super fun flower pot thing-a-ma-bob and some things I’m forgetting. Santa did well and it was a great morning. See what a natural talent she is?

After a fun filled day of Santa, snacks and the most incredibly raunchy movie ever that caused me to use my Momma card and excuse Avelyn and me to another room, we had a visit from my mom and brother for Christmas dinner. And Avelyn got even more gifts. She looked so cute in her Christmas dress and red tights. If I were you I would really watch out for world implosion. I don’t know if a planet can take this much cuteness.

Everybody ran outside on the deck while I watched through the window. They started calling out to them to dump water on it, then to spray water on the roof to keep the flames away from the house then to dump flour on the fire. Kevin’s dad ran out their garden hose and tried to help spray from over the fence. There were flames and water and flour flying everywhere. After a few mentions of calling the fire department I saw the flames fly higher into the air, above the fence line, above the roof and grabbed the phone.

Now I’ve called the cops more than once in my life. Oddly never in Chicago where we had gunshots on our block more than once, a pipe bomb explode on our beach and a fire set in our stairwell by some neighborhood punks. I’ve only called the cops on loud obnoxious partying neighbors in San Antonio when they wouldn’t turn down their bass at 3am on a Tuesday.

Anyway, I called 911, was politely asked if I needed Police, Fire or Ambulance and was transferred to Fire. I calmly told them our address and that the house behind us had a large uncontrolled fire brewing in the backyard. The polite dispatcher thanked me and let me know someone was on their way. After I hung up I varied between watching the craziness through the window and watching the baby monitor. Since Avelyn was somehow sleeping through the commotion I decided to run down the street and stand on the corner to direct the FD to the appropriate residence of the idiot boys. It was all very surreal.

In the end the FD kind of drizzled their hoses on the fire which at this point was dying down and stood around with the boys. Cousin S crept outside and eavesdropped on the conversation which went a little like this:

Fire Dept: “So whose house is this?”
Idiot Boy: “My house.”
FD: “And who owns the house?”
IB: “My parents.”
FD: “Are they home?”
IB: “No.”
FD: “Maybe you should call them.”

After the adrenaline rush of the fire (which totally made me regret not choosing ER for my High Acuity rotation this spring) we had a good laugh at how stupid teenagers are and I swore to go over to that house the next day and make sure their parents knew about the fire. Then we ate dinner.

Long drawn out sigh. I wish I could say the night had ended there.

After dinner was over we sat around some more trying to figure out whether to watch The Dark Knight on Blu-Ray or play games. In the end we somehow decided on games, a decision which will go down in the halls of history as one of the worst ideas. Ever. Ever ever.

The game started okay, with two teams on either side of the room and my MIL reading the questions. If you have ever played Trivial Pursuit (or any game for that matter) then you probably know Murphy’s Law of game playing: one team always seems to get harder questions than the other. Well, my opposing team was getting those questions. It wasn’t like our questions were easy, but theirs were more abstract.

Anyway, we had all had a glass or two of wine at dinner but a few people on the opposing team had been drinking a lot. This, unfortunately, is not unusual for them. Henceforth the person of consequence shall be referred to as Heinous Bitch Good Time Ruiner.

So, GTR was having a heyday being rude to my MIL for laughing while reading most of the questions. Very rude and hurtful. Then GTR (and to be fair, the team) started complaining (some funny, some serious) that their questions were harder. Okay, they probably were but I believe most normal people playing with family during Christmas would have just laughed at the irony. GTR just got more obnoxious and stupid as the game continued making snide comments about our teams intelligence and topping it with a dumbass joke about “putting a hex on us” when we got a question wrong. It was so childish and lame.

In my head I was rolling my eyes but honestly it wasn’t really bothering me too much. We were playing a game after all, and I was having such a wonderful time being with these people I love so much. A few minutes later Kevin got a little heated, wanting the game to end so the ridiculous behavior would stop and jokingly said something like “well why don’t you guys just put a hex on us?” to which I also jokingly replied “No I wouldn’t do that because I’m not a child.” This was followed by an ice stare from Kevin who knew this wouldn’t go over well and a comment from GTR. “Yes you are a child Jennifer. Eff you. Why don’t you go back to your effing playpen.”

Yep.

Fortunately for me I only heard “Yes you are a child” and nothing else. Avelyn had started crying a few minutes before so I jumped up to go rock her and when I opened the door to come back to the game I heard some shouting from GTR that could only have been about me. I quickly shut door, picked up Avelyn and curled up to fall asleep on the bed. I didn’t need that drama.

Needless to say GTR ruined the entire night. Kevin came in a few minutes later red faced and furious and grabbed Avelyn out of my arms and demanded I go talk to GTR and work this out. I absolutely refused, saying I had done nothing wrong and I was not going to talk to them while they were behaving this way. Then he said it wasn’t about the game, it was about something regarding GTR and Avelyn that I had never even said. Ridiculous. I stomped out of the room, flushed, heart racing to find MIL, Cousin S and Great Aunt K sitting stunned in the living room.

I threw my arms in the air when I walked in and said “What the heck? What did I do? I thought we were playing a game and having a good time!” They all just stared and said “I thought so too”. Then I told them what Kevin said and that I was NOT going to go outside and talk to GTR because they were drunk and mean (like usual) and I wasn’t going to talk to them about something that wasn’t even an issue. MIL said “No, you shouldn’t have to do this. It’s stupid. You didn’t do anything wrong. You go back to your room and hold your baby.”

Have I said it before? RIDICULOUS.

I went back to the bedroom and told Kevin I was not talking to this person about something that wasn’t an issue, especially when they were drunk, and I just wanted to go to bed. He apologized about being so angry, said he knew I was not in the wrong and went back out so I could sleep with Avelyn. I just laid there for the longest time, heart pounding, unable to sleep. I was so… so… I didn’t even know.

An antidepressant really messes with your ability to feel. It’s very odd. I couldn’t cry about it. I couldn’t get seething mad about it. I couldn’t laugh about it. I just felt… something. After a while I started thinking about my dad, and how much I was missing him this Christmas. I thought about how hurtful it was that Kevin didn’t stand up for me and say something to GTR when they said what they said (I still didn’t know exactly what it was). Then I started to cry. For the second time since Prozac. Kevin finally came to bed and said GTR had left and if I wanted to say bye to the people leaving early in the morning I should probably go out while they were still awake.

I went out and gave them each hugs and apologized for the evening ending so badly. They all made me feel better by saying I was not responsible for any of it. When I hugged MIL to say goodnight I just started crying. I felt so awful. I didn’t know what I had done or said to be treated so bad and I didn’t know why no one had done anything about it. She sat me down on the couch and we talked for a long while.

It was a wonderful conversation and made me feel better about not being the problem and sad that this was not the first or the last time she would deal with this situation. Then she gave me half an Ambien and I slept like a baby for the first time in months.

I woke up Saturday morning after a most peaceful night’s rest, and decided Avelyn was well enough to drive to my dad’s side family Christmas, 2-1/2 hours away. I needed to be around people that make me feel good about myself and this was the place to go. We weren’t even there three hours before we had to leave and get back to San Antonio but I felt rejuvenated, warm and loved and that’s just what I needed. It was so good to see everyone. Most of them had met Avelyn at Thanksgiving but there were a few final meet and greets. I think everyone in the family has met her now. Avelyn spent most of the day chewing on fingers, toes, toys, spoons, anything she could get in her mouth to work that tooth out. She is growing into the most beautiful girl.

In case you’re wondering what happened after the infamous ‘Day After Christmas Day Debacle’, the answer is nothing. No apology from GTR. They just sucked up and pretended like everything was fine. I was civil, not rude but not friendly, when spoken to. Kevin later told me they apologized to him and his parents Saturday morning and were really upset about the evening but they were terrified of me and afraid they had irreparably damaged our future. Good, I said, they kind of have. For me to get over it I just need to not see or talk to them for a few weeks or months. They should have apologized first thing Saturday morning when I got up. Since they apologized to everyone but me, it was a little too late right now and I did not want to hear it. I don’t want to have some deep serious conversation which is clearly in order for whatever they perceive to be the “real” problem and I don’t want a part of it. My life is going pretty well right now and I don’t need them to ruin it.

So, that is my baby’s first Christmas. Aside from the last ruined evening it was pretty cool.

Tuesday brought both elation and tears. Elation because GTR, who had decided to stay a few extra days (DAMMIT!) finally left Tuesday morning and tears because Kevin’s cat of nearly 18 years was very ill and had to be put down. The rest of the past two weeks have been a bit of a blur, full of window shopping, eating, way too many football and basketball games and lots of playing with my awesome baby. This past Sunday her bottom right tooth finally broke its way through and by Monday the left had too. YAY AVELYN! The days following were full of lots of whining, drooling and pain. We’ve tried Tylenol/Orajel and now moved on to the Teething Tabs. We’ll see which works.

She is so very cute since the teeth. They are barely there, not even noticeable to the eye, but she can feel them with her lips and tongue. As soon as they broke through she started “chewing” at every meal. Not much to chew with pureed baby food but it’s instinctual I guess. I promise to post pictures as soon as she’ll let me see her mouth. She’s very possessive of those sore gums.

Oh yeah, Avelyn also started crawling! And sitting up by herself!! What a break this has been!!! She started getting up on hands and knees the week before we left Houston and since then learned to roll/sit up to get where she wants to be (very quickly mind you) and has taken to crawling 2-3 steps in a row before falling. Just tonight she crawled about 6 feet across the room to get to a pack of diapers. Her favorite new thing is crawling into very tight spaces and looking extra adorable.
I can’t believe she is almost nine months old. It is going by so very fast.