Dear Avelyn,
I thought this went without saying but that clearly isn’t so, so here it is: Cat food and/or dog food is not food for little girls. (Even the bag of cat food we’re passing off to Etta as dog food because the bag was brand new when Thumper ran away and I refused to throw out a perfectly good bag of $5 cat food. I mean come on, that stuff is HIGH. CLASS.)
However, if you insist on consuming it, I would appreciate it if you would at least pretend to acknowledge it’s disgustingness, instead of chomp-chomp-chomping away like it’s the greatest thing you’ve put in your mouth since that time Gagi gave you Jell-O at Luby’s.
Don’t get me wrong, I kind of get while you might be intrigued by the cat food. I mean it’s food, on the floor, easily accessible and in small, bite size form. But I feel compelled to reiterate that IT’S CAT FOOD. DON’T EAT IT. In the future if you’re still hungry after a meal I hope you will feel like you can come to me and say “Mother dear, I am still hungry. Can you please provide further sustenance for my aching belly?” in which case I will more than likely respond “Yes, my child. Thank you for not eating off the floor.”
If the accessibility is not the reason you eat cat food, if it is really because you are boycotting the fact I don’t let you eat crap foods that are full of sugar, fried, carbs, beef or doused in salt then we need to have a whole other talk. Because you should know that Mommy is a nurse, and kids as young as three have been found to have significant plaque build up in their arteries. THREE, Avelyn, and I don’t want you to end up obese at the age of seven and unable to run on your fat little legs due to the amount of fat deposits obstructing arterial blood flow… but that’s a very scientific conversation for another day.
Anyway, don’t eat cat food. Or dog food when we finally get around to buying it. Thanks.
Love,
Momma
Could you talk to my boys too?
Oh now if you’d only give in and let her eat a damn cookie then she wouldn’t resort to cat/dog food ( ;
Claire wouldn’t survive a day without some sort of cookie bribe…how DO you get things done…
Let me be clear: pacifier’s, mini Nilla Wafers, graham crackers and Pop Ice run freely around here. Especially towards a wide open screaming mouth. Shhh, keep it quiet.
Whoa….”fat deposits obstructing arterial blood flow” – there’s something I didn’t think I’d be reading today.
LMAO!!!! I KNOW!!!!! I do NOT understand the fascination with the dog food and water, but we cannot keep Brooklyn out of it! And it’s been tat way ever since she first became mobile!!!!